they tumble and fight and they're beautiful

it's a lot. get buckled. i haven't had internet for days and days.

in the morning, we wake up and walk to sharet after coffee and toast. i'm the official morning coffee maker, i feel. after sharet, and deciding that we'd return there as opposed to going to teach english at nave yonatan, we ran home to make delicious sandwiches for lunch. we've been getting really into sandwich making lately, especially because they are so healthy. we finish our amazing food and walk to sharet, running into naama in the park on the way. she informs us that we're expected at nave yonatan so we shift directions and walk there instead, with enough extra time to sit in the park and talk for a bit.

we get to school with the rowdy ass 15 year old boys. they're very hard to teach, not at all attentive and at times downright unpleasant. but they are very interesting to communicate with. we had two new girls in the class that were pretty cute, trying to speak spanish with me, most of which i've completely forgotten since i've been learning hebrew. it's really sad that a girl from texas can forget the shit spanish in 4 months. but its funny that all the little girls know basic spanish from watching telenovellas. it's hilarious. my buddy rachael was even there. she seriously kicks so much ass in the kid department, even in the awesome person category. she yells at the boys when they're being idiots, kind of protecting us from their rudeness, which we can't understand in the first place, or rather pretend not to understand. anyway, i made drawings of people and faces for them to label in english so i felt like i did some good. al, on the other hand was struggling to keep the boys in the room without harassing her, so by the time class ended we were a little relieved, but it was, like i said, an interesting group.

after nave yonatan, we went to the park on the way to the daycare center to sit for a minute before visiting our final placement for the day. we get to the daycare center, and man, babies take a lot of energy. the one that i played with WOULD NOT smile. but at least i got her to stop crying. it really took every last microbe of power to keep this kid occupied. i honestly can't imagine having my own. but whatever i did, it must have worked, because she started crying when she saw me leaving. that was really sad. these kids must not get ANY attention. well, this daycare center actually exists for parents that do not know how to raise their kids, are either out of rehab or jail, etc. really sad stuff.

once we got home, i made peanut butter toast and watched end of groundhog day with alice. great fucking movie. i listened to some music, and started to write a song that sounds a little too much like motion picture soundtrack, but i sent it to josh (as usual) to get some feedback. he's always so supportive, telling me to just work on the lyrics and vocal melody and it'll be fine. i really just want to record shit. i don't care how it sounds. i like it better before it's polished anyway. it's cold and snowing in texas right now. i'm jealous. al and i started talking about death and i told her the story about ben and phil, which i won't elaborate on because it's very sad, but the craziest fucking story ever. she wanted to learn a song on guitar so i started to teach her rocky raccoon. she's getting better. i talked to mom a little bit, which was nice but i was distracted by this interview with friend and newly NY photographer josh maupin, who i have always admired for the fact that he's insane, which makes for interesting situations to photograph as well as the balls to go for the shot, no matter how ridiculous and obscene. i want those balls. i'm too fucking polite. but then i realized what i really need to do is make friends with who i want to photograph. there's a reason why portraits are powerful sometimes, and that's because the photographer gets to know the subject. somehow, whether its over years or hours, or minutes if you're lucky. or just that good. diane arbus got to know all of her subjects, so they did not feel exploited. which is my worst fear as a photographer. anyway, the power's been going out all week, so i went to bed...

on thursday, we woke up and went to the elderly center. went on a walk with the oldies, who are very fun. israel, my boyfriend, has the most amazing style ever. he's adorable. and i can even understand him a little with his sqeaky hebrew. found out that the israeli volunteer, guy, is in a band and that two of his favorites are radiohead and sigur ros. we bonded over that and exchanged music myspace pages. we may jam hopefully: www.myspace.com/weplayinabunker.

went home for lunch and worked on the song i just started until it was time for me to run to sharet to play soccer with al and the kids. we played with the boys that day. i'm terrified of little boys passing me the ball. i fucking suck. but i'm making al coach me so i can dazzle on the field. mostly myself, but them a little. i went home to take a shower and get ready to go to jerusalem for a little ISC trip thing. we all met at the house around 7 and walked to the bus station. al got a call from home and was visibly upset so we talked about what happened. for some reason, everyone was in a bad mood that night. buffy, jen, jade, eric. it was very strange. we finally got on a bus, after missing the one we were supposed to be on and running into one of the israeli volunteers from kadima. really sweet girl. once on the bus (standing room only), we made friends with a couple of israeli soldiers and a religious guy who's mom was from NY. we exchanged numbers so that we could meet the soldiers later for a barbeque, although we never did. but we DID go on a late-night museum tour in jerusalem, looking at very cool artifacts from the inception of the state of israel. the building (in which alice and i got lost of course---on purpose) was complete with a children's library, so al and i sat down and looked through some photo books. photojournalism is definitely where my heart lies. in portraiture. but it's a balance i'll have to discover on my own. being able to capture the emotion as well as retaining the technical aspects that i want, like colors, etc. i was so tired that i passed out on the sheruit home. but it was a good night. fucking freezing. home sleep.

the next morning, al and i slept in and watched this documentary called 'forgiving dr. mengele', about this woman who was a twin that was an unwilling subject in one of the horrific experiments conducted by dr. mengele during the holocaust and how she has decided to forgive the dr. and the nazi's as a way of freeing herself from the pain, but never forgetting. her stance was very controversial, as many holocaust survivors think it's blasphemous to forgive such a heinous travesty. but i think she's courageous, even setting up a holocaust museum in indiana, which was burned to the ground, only the be resurrected in another building. i admire that woman. we also watched another terribly sad, but really interesting documentary about mothers who've lost children and a 17 day retreat that they take to africa to escape pretending to be OK and volunteering with children. it's what i would want my mom to do, i think. it's called 'motherland'. alice and i walked to the post office to mail rayna's phone and met this artist on the way, yusef, who was painting a mural on a restaurant. i stopped to take a photo of him, we started talking. he let me know that the nearby shop owners did not like his work and were laughing at him. he also told me that he has a studio nearby, so i asked if we could come by to see his work sometime. he happily agreed. we ended up going to the shook for food, and grabbed a soccer ball on the way so we can practice so i can get better so i don't completely blow chow, as blake would say. on the way back, we ran into yusef, who was still painting and made plans to meet him at his studio (or on the corner by his studio) at noon the next day/right when we got home, zvi dropped by the camera for our day trip to rehovot and stayed for a cigarette and a chat. he has commissioned alli and i to create a sort of handbook for the next ISC group, as far as where to go, how, why, what to eat, where, etc... so we'll do that. later on in the evening, david finally comes over with his friend from germany, bianca. we all hung out and made food and ate treats and listened to music. i made delicious veggie pizza with avocados and al made challah with nutella and strawberries. we decided to make a nutella cookbook, complete with peanutbutter/honey/bananas/nutella. yum, says i. yuck, says al. while we were hanging out in our room, i started taking succession shots, and had ideas for a project, putting them all together... then i thought that i shoudn't take photos that i think others will like either. it's about me expressing myself, so whatever i like, i'll feel and do. that's how i should be about the music that i make also. i would love to just layer sounds and voices and tones and beats and weirdness. like coco rosie. it's so fucking weird, but infectious. we went to sleep kind of late, alice and david on the couch watching fashion TV. bianca in al's bed, me in mine.

yesterday, we woke up and had breakfast and hung out with david and bianca, then rescheduling our meeting with yusef for later in the day. only al and i were interested in going, so at around 3Pm we headed out to meet our new artist friend. we finally arrive at our corner, and are late. yusef told us he'd been waiting earlier and then again. we're assholes. anyway, so he walks us by the church and into the old city of ramla through the cobblestone streets to a rickity wooden door across some really cool tiles that he found in the garbage and restored for his walkway. he unbolts the lock ans opens the door, revealing his lair: it looks like a dungeon converted into a workroom/living space complete with stone arches and a little raised cot with paintings lining the walls and tim burton-esque bone sculptures inhabiting many of the flat surfaces not occupied by droves of art books. we step through the door and are greeted by a dinosaur-looking skeleton yusef says he made from found cow bones. we walk down the stone steps and into his place. he offers us coffee, but not until later, he says. now, this entire time, we are attempting to communicate through his terrible english and our terrible hebrew, but it seems to work for the most part. we spend the next hour or so look at all of his work. paintings and sculptures. he uses lots of found materials to create his work and his life, besides oil paints and canvas. satellite paintings, and bone sculptures. sketches on tiles and collages on torn up fake wood floors. surrealist and realist. he shows us a magazine for french edgy hairstyles, pointing to one in particular. he asks us where the hairstyle is from, noting the straight bit with the coiled bit on top. we have no idea, until he pulls out this bronze plate, engraved with egyptian women figures, one of which has the exact hairstyle as the one in the magazine. he notices alice's shirt, with a pale yellow stripe and compares that yellow to the color he uses in so many of his paintings. he likes this color, he says, because it is the color of sunflowers. he even invites us to come with him to the gallery that shows his work in tel aviv, but we must get back to david and bianca. before we leave, he shows us the photos of a school which he painted murals for in lod, and the students that fill in the outlines he draws. leat, leat ("slowly slowly"). so much trash that he turns into art. i really liked a lot of his work, but mainly i just fell in love with his lifestyle. he just lives to make art. sees it in everything. loves learning and reading about artists and their work. finds potential in every garbage can and trash heap. he lives modestly underground in this beautiful charming rugged little cave with his cat. and he's a little odd, but in a sweet, innocent way. not at all creepy. but he was very curious about what alice thought of his work. she even told him she didn't like one of the pieces he restored, and had painted over a rennassance profile of a girl. he told her that tomorrow, he'd work on it. he made us coffee, and we drank it before saying our goodbyes, promising to return another day. i'm fascinated by this man. it was one of my favorite things that's ever happened. truly magical and surprising.

on the way back, we decided to stop into the hummus place for dinner since we'd never been. david and bianca happened to be sitting, having just finished their meal. so we joined them and ate as well, before it started and then stopped raining, then walking home. we got home and relaxed, watching both darjeeling limited and human nature. we started out on alice's bed, but it started to break, finally completely giving way on one corner. so we switched beds. in between movies, i recorded two more guitar parts, and realizing that i'd forgotten how to play a few parts that i'd written longer ago. shittttt. we finished the movies and al and i start to work on the soundtrack to our project. 'somebody that i used to know' comes on and i get really very sad all of a sudden, and get the urge to call josh. and my dad. and sherri. so i call and leave a message for sherri, things i've been needing to say to express what she means to me. i call josh and leave a mildly sad message. i finally get dad and we have a nice conversation, in which i explained to him why i want to stay over seas for a while. i think he's confused by reading this blog and not hearing the reasons or updates from me, myself. but it was really nice to have a meaningful chat with him about life stuff, about him coming here, etc. also, we had a little giggle about some family joke and couldn't even stop laughing for a minute. i'm proud of you dad. we said goodbye and al and i worked some more on our project before retiring to our own beds. i checked facebook, on which i found out that my college roomate, cheech, is a miss japan finalist, which is fucking awesome, considering she'd only asked me to shoot her application shots 1 week before i left to come here. i'm so proud of her. we settle in, say goodnight, and go to bed.

today was our rehovot trip, which is a suburb on the way to tel aviv from ramla. we had to kick david and bianca out this morning, so we said our goodbyes and we hopped on a sheruit to rehovot. first, we got to the weizman institute of technology, which is named after the first president of israel and is responsible for advances in drug development to treat cancer and MS. also, the president's house is on the campus, which was amazing. i took a lot of weird, cool photos of his stuff. later, we went to this 'science place' type garden with a bunch of musical, sound, light, water, motion gadgets that you can play with all around the garden. we had fun with that today. afterwards, we ate lunch. i stuffed myself with veggies. afterwards, we walked a bit through rehovot, with our tour guide (menash who might be my brother's tour guide--he's good). he showed us the millionaire houses (old and dilapidated, but gorgeous... my fave was this one with red shutters and doors) and an herb garden in the middle. we then drove to a kibbutz which was the site of an underground bullet factory, started by the israeli secret defense forces (called the 'hagana', during the war, now the israeli defense force). they had to secretly produce ammunition for the israeli fighters. really fucked up, but very cool place. secret dors in laundry rooms and bakeries. sure is neat and convert. very brave. anyway, all day long, al and i were listening to songs and thinking of ideas for our project. i'm really excited about it. but we have a shitload of work to do. we'll get it done. i know it.

we made pizza and guacamole for dinner, then i wrote (filled in a template) a thank you letter to the donors from the jewish federation from dallas at naama's request. we just finished watching 'inside deep throayt, which brings up a lot of interesting points about human rights and sex. i love dr. ruth westheimer. i do know that. then i ended up reading a friend' blog including 10 possible role models for a girl that's not paris hilton. now, on this list is susan sontag, who i didn't know about. but she is fascinating and smart and was in love with annie lebovitz, who i'd love to be. i hope i can take portraits like her one day. but i'm getting really tired now. FINALLY finished this shit. let's hope my fucking internet doesn't die on me. love love love you guys.

love,

sally