and if i feel tomorrow like i feel today

its been a good day, well the first part of it. i'm tired, i'm getting sick. i feel weaker mentally and emotionally than i have this whole trip, or in a long time. maybe its just been a bad day. but its not good whatever it is. i feel i have no control over the overwhelmingly negative thoughts that are pervading my consciousness. maybe its my period. i fucking hope so. but today, we decided to skip the GA to go to the greenhouse project. good decision. al and i walked to the school where the bus picks us up and met jen, jade, and alon. we rode the bus to the volcani center. basically we spent the whole day touring the cow area. we saw baby cows and big cows and where the cows are born, where they are milked, where they eat. really a fascinating process. i was licked by a baby cow. i don't think i can eat a burger ever again. but we bonded with the kids and played this really funny game where we ran and jumped between sticks that were pulled further and further apart. i lost immediately, but had fun watching. anyway, we ate and were bussed back to ramla, where we hung out at home for 2.5 seconds before walking to the peircing/tattoo place so al could get her nose peirced. (don't worry mom and dad, i didn't get anything.) he allowed me to take photos, so i did. he put the dot on her nose, she picked a stud, and he stuck a needle through her right nostril after sharpening it on medical paper. she took one look as did i. it was too low. she looked at the guy. he said no. she said yes. so he did it. again. so now al has two holes in her nose, one of which is filled with jewelry. the other will close. it was pretty funny. anyway, went to kadima with cameras, but once we got there sivan told me that because of the inconsistency with which i've been coming there due to the holidays and all our fucking trips, we're scrapping the photography thing there. which sucks, but i understand. anyway, i helped some kids with english today and then we all played games on the basketball court but i felt tired and weak, so i didn't play. it was time to go, so we stopped by the apartment to chill and talk to naama. i started falling asleep. after our meeting, i came home and now i feel like shit. i was supposed to go to tel aviv to see my mom, but i can barely see to type because of this migraine. i'm going to bed or something. i want to see my mom tomorrow. she's always good at taking care of me when i'm sick. i actually love when she takes care of me. we don't fight for some reason. tomorrow is another day. love you guys.


sally