ay ay ay

wow so today everyone finally arrived so our little perfect '10' was complete. we had a little sit down with momo (head of oranim, funniest guy ever and very inspiring speaker), naama, and ofir to welcome us and let us know that he is very proud of what we're doing here, yada yada. we had a wonderful meal with the whole group and made a toast to a wonderful, safe, and fulfilling 5 months. i stuffed myself, so after dinner, a few of us walked to the liquor store to stock up for tonight. we planned on the entire group going to karaoke night at this gay bar in tel aviv, evita, from last week. so we all got ready, a little tipsy, and walked to the shirut taxi stop across from our house to wait. i didn't think that we'd all fit in one, but lo and behold an empty shirut taxi showed up then and there all to ourselves and we PARTIED in that thing. whew. so loud and so fun. i felt bad for the driver, but he didn't mind at all. anyway, after a little walk, we were directed (by inbal) instead to mike's place, an english style pub (that all the americans and brits go to apparently) right on the beach. luckily, monday is open stage night so we got to sample some live local stuff. now, my inhibitions were considerably lowered, so i jumped onstage to sing backups and play tambourine for the duo that was up when we walked in. i don't really know what i was thinking, but they introduced me and said i could play later in the night if i wanted. DUH.

needless to say, we made friends with the people that were sitting at our table (it was one of their birthday's, we got sparklers and sang to him), the guys at the table next to us, they guys that were playing, and one of the waitresses. so when i finally got up (i did my classic, 'me and bobby mcgee', and an original of mine, 'my ghosts don't wear sheets no more'), i sang loud and played strong. everyone was siiiiiiiiiiinging and daaaaaaaancing and playing along with the taaaaaaaaaambourine. it was fucking phenomenal! the guys that were playing when i got there, ken and tal, told me that they run another open mic place and they'd love to have me there. the guy that runs the open mic at mike's place also told me to come back next week. not bad! inbal showed up right after i played, so i didn't get to hang out with her much. but i'll see her soon.

now, since we weren't driving, everyone got pretty faded. some more than others, but since it's the first night and everyone is on a different level emotionally, physically, mentally, whatever and we don't know each other very well, some conflict occurred. most of it was because people were fucking drunk. we decided to go to the beach and hang out until the shirut taxis began running again (because by this time we were leaving the bar, they weren't). so we did. some people went swimming in the ocean, some people just hung out in the sand. tensions were running a bit high for some people. words were had on the way back to a regular taxi after a few decided they couldn't wait for a shirut.

tonight was the most stressful and exhilarating night i've had in a while. i've never been so high and so annoyed in such a short span of time. maybe i have, but in the most memorable past, no. but i tried to mediate the conflict as best i could, and still will. i just want our group to make the most out of these 5 months and i think it'll be fine. i was talking to one of the guys in my group who said that his reason for being here was to start his life over, based on feeling like a shitty person at home coupled with the fact that in israel, he feels like a different person. we talked about that for a minute and how it's not like we can escape who we are, but that because we have made a significant change in our lives, interrupting our normal patterns of doing things, we can create new patterns for ourselves. hopefully healthy ones. so if i take anything away from this night, it is that there will be great times, and there will be horrible times, but if i can just keep my head and my intentions relatively clear for the most of the time, i'll be just fine. and everyone around me will be just fine because i care enough to contribute to their happiness. even if i feel selfish sometimes.

on the cab ride home, i found myself telling the cab driver what i was doing in israel. i told him, 'ani mit nadevet', which means 'i'm volunteering', to which he said, 'no money?', to which i said, 'lo, money isn't the important thing', to which he said, 'money is power', to which i said, 'no, love is power'. and i realize this is such a cheesy thing to say, and as i heard it come out of my mouth, i simultaneously asked myself if i was really saying such a thing, and truly meaning it. and i think that's great. anyway, we spent the rest of the way home talking about his kids and how proud he is of them and what they are doing with their lives. i liked that cab driver. man, what a night.

love,

sally