lots o shit

i'm in eilot right now. i have done a lot of shit. here's some lists and some writings. all together now. i'm tired. my birthright trip ends tomorrow and i'll get picked up from the airport and go SOMEWHERE?. then i'll have about a week to hang out before my program starts. i have met some really great people that i hope to hang with while i'm in israel including our medic/security guards zur and gitit, israeli soliders galore, and another girl in my program that is staffing a birthright trip from chicago. so here's lots of random shit that i've done for the past week. sorry it's not all written down and some is purely associative but i haven't had internet/time to write shit. photos soon, i totally promise.

love,

sally

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sunday aug 9

be a history maker vs bystander (neil lazarus)
yell at family (why we yell at israel for doing dumb shit, because we're family)
tsha be av (the day all the bad stuff happened to the jews)
scared spiral (one person got scared, then half the group)
debate split (we debated for fucking ever)
wall (finally got to the kotel for Tsha Be Av)
david talk (talked politics and middle east with one of my group, smart kid)

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monday august 10

when i left you i was in jerusalem after tsh be av (ninth of av). the next day, we got our second security guard and drove to the golan heights and the military outpost on the border of lebanon. it is always so interesting to hear about the israeli rules of engagement as told by phillip, a crass, good ole atlanta boy turned israeli soldier. after the military outpost, we drove to the campsite where we would raft the next day and eat smores. it was too late to raft that night. we played an enlightening little game called kill-fuck-marry, in which one person picks a male or female from a circle of participants, then picks three other people that the victim has to choose whether to kill, fuck, or marry. hypothetically of course. very cute as you can imagine, but it was pretty funny. i played some songs and one of the guys in our group wrote a rap about BR 1044 (our birthright group), which was brilliant. we went to bed super late after hanging out with each other all night. woke up the next morning after not much sleep and went rafting finally in the jordan river which was pretty low, even though the water is the highest in the morning. i guess since it's summer, all the water levels are generally low. i had a lot of fun and didn't do too badly, leaving last and arriving at the end point about halfway through the group. yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah holler. after we finished "kayaking" (really "rafting" translated from hebrew much to the dismay of my group) we drove to the mystical "cradle of kabballah", tsfat which is a beautiful old city in the mountains which houses many artists. we visited one, avram, who had amazing pieces that i absolutely loved. i really want to go back there to buy some art for my family. i actually wasn't expecting to be so impressed since the last artist i saw on my birthright trip was very intelligent and fabulous to listen to, but i wasn't really a huge fan of his work. avram, on the other hand, made beautiful art, but i thought his talk on kabballah was a little bit contrived, with lots of talk about god and souls and blah blah blah. but what really got me was when he said something about how there are no coincidences in life (which i don't believe) but that we all ended up in israel together and we're like family. at that moment it hit me. i really missed my family of course, but i realized that when i first met my group in LA, i had no idea who any of these people were, but being here together on this trip, i am slowly getting to know them and really finding things about each of them that remind me of traits i would identify with my own family. i am getting annoyed with them, and they drive me fucking crazy at times, but i love them and will very much miss being their group laeder when this whole experience is over. they even call me 'mama bear'. i am glad that i came on this trip, even though i was so resistant to it. i find that i am most resistant to what ends up being the most rewarding. anyway, we left tsfat and we drove to a hotel located on a kibbutz near jerusalem so that we can go to yad vashem, the israeli holocaust museum, in the morning. we ate dinner, and afterwards i went exploring outside and found an absolutely wonderful vast grassy outdoor area on a hill inside the hotel grounds that has an amazing view of the city. i just sat in the grass, worrying about the little things, like i always do. but then i told myself, out loud, to "just be". to just enjoy this lovely place. and i closed my eyes. i am going to have to remind myself to do that often while i'm here. actually, as i type these words, i'm sitting in the grass on the hill overlooking the twinkling lights of the city. alone. there's sounds of children playing nearby and i just breathe. i found out earlier in our group meeting that the elderly people that we've been seeing since we checked in are all holocaust survivors that are here for a month-long vacation. it hit me really hard when i heard this, and i immediately thought of my gammy ,who i haven't spoken to since i arrived in israel. after the meeting, one of the guys in my group sat down with a gaggle of the holocaust ladies playing cards who had taken a liking to him. it was such a sweet encounter that i teared up a little and went to my room to call gammy. she was so happy to hear from me that she excitedly told me everything that's been going on at home and that she misses me very much. now, my gammy is a sharp cookie. she is very smart and funny, but she has a hard time expressing love and affection in traditional ways, as many that grew up in her generation do. i always tell her i love her in an almost goading way to force her, jokingly but not, to say it back. she has a hard time. but as we were about to say goodbye, she said, "i love you to pieces". she'll be 90 in about 3 weeks. and in typical gammy fashion, right before we hung up, she interjected, "meet a nice jewish boy. and leave him there."

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wednesday august 12

yad vashem (holocaust memorial)
mount herzl
soldiers (israeli soldiers joined our group-soooo hot and hilarious)
dinner
mason (saw a guy i was in BBYO with in high school/big hugs!/hung out with him) partying/guitar/singing outside with yakir - israeli solider)
learning hebrew
hanging out
intelligent conversation (new york group/ miss good conversation not about drinking) hooking up (everyone did, not me of course)
sleep.

tevi shachta = let me hit that
tevi esh = give me a lighter
ben cama atcha = what is your name (male)
bat cama atach = what is your name (female)
labriut = bless you
ken = yes
lo = no
ani oevet otcha = i love you (to a male from a female)
ani oevet atcha = i love you (to a female from a male)
efo = where
ma = what
culam po = everybody here
ma achuva lemashmaut shelachaim = what is the meaning of life
yalla = come
ani = me
ata/at = you

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thursday august 13

tel aviv independence hall (booooooring, but where israel was declared a jewish state)
jaffa (hot as fuckkkkkk, but pretty cool)
camels (drove to bedouin camp to ride them)
beduin tent (slept in, kind of)
guitar (played and sang by the bonfire)
made smores and played 'chubby bunny'
germans (sang along to my songs)
yellow subamrine

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friday august 14

hiked masada at sunrise (woke up at 3:30 AM)
lots and lots and lots of orthodox men praying very enthusiastically (really amazing)
hike down (ouch knees)
horrible giftshop (too expensive, very cheesy)
jealousy and bad things that i try to talk myself out of (mmmm feelings)
eilot
chill down
club
dance
boys
goldbarg
traveling boys (cute)
jennifer (dancing on the bar)
lost roee
sleep

and that brings us up to thew present. tonight will be our last night together. i love everyone and will miss them very much. i can't explain how much i love this video:



love,

sally